so cal

as one door closes one more opens, is this to say that if a door opens that one has to close? what if we like having options???

Life is ours for the taking, any door any time, whats behind door #3???
luckily life does not have to be so much of a game show experience. We all have talents Passions Loves Desires we also havethings we despise. It's up to us what we choose. where we choose to go what we choose to wear. our life is a constant game of choices. voluntary on every level. What shoes to wear what outfit to wear what to eat where to sit, to sit to stand to get out of bed to take a step to type a letter on the key board and which letter to type. every move made is a decision is a choice. Why do we feel so confined so forced to do things in a certain way. Why is the color of our hair important or the shoes we wear the car we drive?
Life is yours Take it live Happy Live Love live your dream and live it to the max extreme

A Jettie

I dont know what it is but from the sound of the first vave crashing its a feeling like no other. It's exciting its rejuvinating, it's overwhelming, it's new life, new beginings and its ends. Waves are so powerful to think about it everything here is made from the waves; the sand, the sound, the wind, the mist, the smells. thinking further, the beach is something anyone can enjoy; the deaf, the blind; someone with a really bad sinus issue who cant smell, its beauty in every form. Tonight is exceptionally beautiful, (and I've lived in california my whole life, it's not something i haven't seen before. ) tonight it's taken on a whole new light, i couldnt sasy for sure but. maybe it's the moon, its only half tonight but with the sky unusually clear it is extremely bright. Maybe it's the stars twinkling. maybe it's the amazing reflection of a cars headlights as it passes,(which is oddly dazzling). Maybe, Maybe it's just me.
to reflect back on my theory of the beach being a place for anyone i just passes 3 kids somking pot, a young couple kissing in the moonlight, and an elderly couple jogging(trying to hang on to that last bit of youth), then if you listen and look beyond the beauty of the waves, you can see the late night bikers up on the trail, the dedicated dog walkers, more joggers more couples (enjoying the beach from a far, unwilling to get their shoes a little sandy, then you hear up on the streets the parties at the bars. (to mention it is 10:30 on a thursday in October, obviously the beacch is enjoyable by not only everyone but at any time of night of any time of year). A wave crashes bringing you back once again to the serenity of the beach.
there looks to be a boat off in the distance, i couldnt imagine what theyre doing, i hope theyre not in trouble.
I've made my way down a jettie. i'm at the furthest, highest point (something i've never been able to accomplish with friends and family always telling me its too dangerous.(a deffinate benefit of coming here alone). it's nice up here, all other sounds are drowned out, all that is apparent is the waves the moon and me. I dont think anyone can see me here, not that there's anyone around to see, but it adds to the affect of the waves the serenity of now.
the tides rising i should head back

Leaving

I guess, what with my steady amazing job, amazing relation ship with the one that will be my husband, the rebuilding of relationship with my dad, reuniting with old friends, strenghthening my family, i wasnt ready to put it all on hold again. Campbell California is my home it's where I'm happy. "home is where you make it darling" i just cant seem to make it here. I know when i get back there, though it won't be for long, it will be just as i left it. My friends are still my friends, Moises is still in love with me as i am him even more than ever, my dad and i will just keep getting closer, my family and i will reunite with love and more stories, my town will be the same a few new things added, a few old things gone, but still the same. But 3 weeks home every 6 months gone is so hard. It's not long enough to feel satisfied, too long to not feel the connection. It's just enough time to get settled comfterable happy and have it ripped at it's prime leaving me empty and wanting again. I miss home. still 3 years. maybe more. 21 (then to get married as soon as i can hopefully engaged before i graduate.)I just need to stay focused but home is always on my mind. 61 days till i see everyone again. then 6 months. crazy cycle.(maybe i can transfer to somewhere better than san diego, its an alright town but im more bitter towards this place and my mom is no help) i need something fresh, but whatever i do i need to stay focused. i love everyone i need to see every one.
61 days...

WWII

I understand the thought of, "with death comes life," to live an unhappy life is meaningless, to die happy; means everything, is the one wish we should all have in common.
We live in a society so drawn to so fascinated by the events of WWII. To young to have lived through it, but so driven to know the pain, the shame, the sorrow of the time period. Is it to know our history? to make our struggles seem inferior? to bring ourselves further into our nationwide depression epidemic? to laugh at the mistakes of our ancestors? to learn(pure facts no emotion)? I ask only with intent to gain knowledge, i ask why?
To further inform i must classify myself as one of these so curious, and to present an answer to my own question, and that is: I dont know. There is an underlying attraction, pursuassion, inticement to all from this era, of which I can not explain. Can you?

Rain

With great power comes great responsibility, as we all know, but as an 18 year old under grad working full time getting into debt by paying for higher education middle child in a family all to well relatable in this age; seperated parents alchoholic father, status upsessed mother, wayword older sister, favored yougings, i find myself with little power but all the responsibility, a state of mind sharedd with me by many of all ages and races.

But today seems different, not for long but for the time being. It's raining: its clean, its clear, it's fresh; new day, new time, new feelings. relaxed

Campbell, CA

its often said that you dont know what youve got until its gone, that love is expressed best only when forced apart, that you never know home until you leave, but this was not new to me. Through every pain every heartbreak every deception through the friends made, Love found, dear ones lost, relationships broken, through every lie, and every tear, All the bitterness so many adolescence place on the town they were born, dreaming of nothing but an escape(this was never me) through it all the good and the bad, the place i was born is my First True Love.

the inevitable has come i was made to leave but never for good, i will always return and it will always be home. I owe my life to to this city, my friends, my family, my husband, it is this city who has made me who i am and i am grateful forever. Campbell, Ca.
true family true life true love. Thank you